If you are a parent, you know about worry. We want to trust God, but it's easy to get bogged down in everyday life, and in being human Lately, I have let stress and worry about my children eat away at me til I've been worn down to a pathetic useless frazzle. It's my own fault. When we take our eyes off Him and start looking down at the waves, we will sink every time. Today I was reading an article and one sentence jumped out at me: "Children crave their parents’ attention because it makes them feel known—deeply and intrinsically” (Mia Mauss).
I hope and pray my children feel that I know them. Divorce rips apart families and no matter what, the children always lose. I can't undo the damage. I can't fix it for them. Those of you that have intact families, thank God for it. Don't waste that precious gift. Don't take it for granted. Make the most of it. I never thought it would happen to me or my children. It was not my choice, and not having my children with me for ANY amount of time has NEVER been my choice. It would be very easy to be bitter and just abandon hope. I've been at that heart wrenching, completely broken, point so many times.
I would like to be able to tell you that God always bails out the children and they are protected from the pain and loss. But that isn't true. Mine have suffered great loss, they still do, they always will. I've fought, struggled, cried, prayed, beat down heaven’s doors, but in the end, I can't make it be the way I want for my children. They live in a sin-cursed world, just like me, and will always suffer because of the choices of others. It's not fair. It just isn't. It is reality.
But, I choose not to be bitter. I choose HOPE! I know that we love and serve a big God and that He is more than able to bring my children through and home safe to Heaven. He will even bring them joy in this earthly life! He loves them far more than I even do. He knows everything that has happened to them, every heartbreak, every triumph, every battle, every joy. He knows and He cares. He won't let them fall. He said He wouldn't and I believe Him! All the good and all the bad that has happened to them, HE alone, can work it all towards their good. That is His promise!
I have one right now that is pretty angry with God and has chosen not to believe in Him. He knows that and He loves them anyway. He knows their heart and soul and every single heartbreak they have suffered. He knows the pain and anger and anguish that has surrounded them. But more than that, He has a redemption for them -- JOY for them. I'm praying, I'm trusting, I'm believing that God will take this that we have created and redeem it. He has loaned my children to me for a little while, but they are HIS!
So today, I'm letting go of the stress, the fear, the guilt, the constant worry that breaks down my soul and shatters my heart. I'm letting go and grabbing hold of JOY. I’m trusting in a God who cannot fail! I’m resting in His big, powerful, sheltering, loving hand and putting my four beautiful children right there with me.
by Tracy Thornton
Women with Intention
A Little R and R
Hope in Every Season