2010: Learning Contentment

God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him.  ~John Piper

Each year I choose a character trait I'd like to focus on throughout the year.  In January 2010 I chose contentment. 

discontent [dɪs kənˈtɛnt] n
a. Absence of contentment; dissatisfaction.

b. A restless longing for better circumstances.

I don't think I suffered from paramania -- an abnormal pleasure in complaints...  But it was so easy to let a spirit of discontentment creep in and rob me of the joy of life. 

Dissatisfaction with himself had settled over him …

as congruently as a second skin.

~François Camoin



David wrote in Psalm 132:2, "I've kept my feet on the ground, I've cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother's arms, my soul is a baby
content."  David had "smoothed down the roughness of his self-will" (The Treasury of David).  That was my desire, to smooth some rough edges of my self-will.  One of the byproducts of a discontented life is selfishness.  We want to be better, to have more, to shine brighter than everyone else.  So we are selfish with our compliments, our "things," and even ourselves. 

Unselfishness is hard.  Really hard!  I started whispering to myself, "It's not about me."  I was careful not to use this as an excuse to always say "yes" to the requests of others.  But I learned there were times I could say yes, when selfishly I wanted to say no.

Oh my, was I ever surprised with the results of living a contented life.  Progress came in baby steps -- it took me most of the year to change habits -- but looking back I see the changes         more clearly. 

• I shopped less and wrote more.
• When I shopped it was more often for others.
• I was content staying home.
• I found ways to create with what I already had.
• I learned to share more freely.

But it really wasn't just material things in which I found contentment.  I found contentment in myself.  I think there comes a time when we need to be content with ourselves.  That doesn't mean we don't continue to learn and stretch our visions.  For me, it meant accepting my quest for truth and knowledge.  I've always felt like I was a strange breed -- I'm not satisfied to ponder and discuss surface topics.   For so many years I squashed that part of me and tried to be content with those friends who indulged or encouraged me to speak my mind.  I needed to be content with how God made me.  It was funny.  When I surrendered the discontent, God put so many people in my path who loved to ponder, discuss, and delight in more serious subjects. 

I found contentment in my hopes and dreams.  There are goals I have set for myself: inward goals, writing dreams.  I work on being content where I am right now.  Patience doesn't show up on my list of character traits.  I want to see accomplishments NOW.  I try to celebrate small victories, changes of habit, and advances in discipline.

This blog is about sheltering.  In  trying to be the best woman I can be in Christ, I am not only sheltering myself, but I am able to shelter others in a greater way.  Matthew, tax-collector-turned-apostle shared,

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are -- no more, no less.

That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."

That's me, a little more contented...with who I am in Christ.  A proud owner of everything that can't be bought.

Jesus, You're the center of my joy,
all that's good and perfect comes from You.
You're the heart of my contentment, hope for all I do;
Jesus, You're the center of my joy.

~Richard Smallwood~