Magic Wand Sheltering

 
Self-esteem is as necessary to the spirit as food is to the body. 
~ Dr. Maxwell Maltz

Changing Your Child's Future through Self Esteem

Stephanie Martson, family therapist and author of The Magic of Encouragement said, “Self esteem is the real magic wand that can form a child’s future.”

Many times our children look to those with “obvious” talents and play the “If Only” game. If only I could shoot baskets like Justin. If only I could sing like Tasha. Their heroes and heroines are star basketball players, actors and actresses or beauty pageant winners which only serve to reinforce their thoughts of I’m nobody and I can’t do anything.

How can we as parents raise our children’s self esteem? By using the magic wand—focusing on each individual child’s interests and talents. Not every child will be a star basketball player. Nor will they have the beauty or poise to act or to become Miss America. But in each child there is planted a special talent—it’s up to you to find it.

Sometimes the easiest way to find a child’s talent is to look at what he’s interested in. Is he attracted to paper, pencils and paints? Does he like to draw, create things with his hands or is he fascinated with creations made of clay, metal or other art mediums?

Even before Mattie could draw a recognizable figure, she loved art and craft supplies. Anything that could be glued was glued. And if it couldn’t be-- like the fresh flowers she wanted in her construction paper vase--she taped it. Crayons, paints, foam, or magnets—she loves them all and spends hours creating her projects. Mattie struggled with spelling and reading, and although eventually conquered the mechanics of these subjects, it’s clear to those who know her best that Mattie’s real love is art. It makes one wonder just what her career choice will be.

Emily loves books. Even as a small child, and barely able to read, she would hand a book to her mother and say, “This book feels so good in my hands.” Tablets and pens were hoarded so all those “stories” could be written down. Poems, essays and stories were written and proudly shared. If you couldn’t find Emily, you knew she was curled up somewhere with a good book. When most kids were begging to go to arcades, Emily begged to take a trip to the nearest bookstore. In fifth grade her SAT language skills were at the twelfth grade level. What will Emily’s future hold?

Alyssa is an animal lover--big, small and in-between. She cries when an animal is mistreated. One day Alyssa and her mother found a hawk sitting beside the road—someone had hit and left it there. At Alyssa’s begging, her mother threw a blanket over the hawk and took it to a vet. Alyssa treasures the feather the vet gave her as a memento of the hawk. Whatever Alyssa’s career choice is, it will probably include animals.

Douglas is an American! Patriotism runs right through his blood stream. At a young age he devoured books on United States presidents and other patriots. He loves attending political rallies and waving flags. When his dad ran for city council he campaigned as hard as an eight-year-old can. A highlight of his life was when, as a seven-year-old, Oliver North patted his head and said, “You’ll be a hero someday, too.” Where will Douglas’ interests lead him?

Okay, so you know where your child’s interest lies. What can you do to encourage them? Mattie’s parents display her artwork, submit it to competitions and supply her with seemingly unlimited art tools. They might encourage her further by signing her up for a pottery class or private art lessons and by planning trips to art museums.

Emily's essay medal at International Student Convention

Emily’s parents took her to story hour every Friday night where characters from the books she loved visited. She cherishes pictures taken with several celebrities--including Winnie the Pooh, Angelina Ballerina and, her favorite—Ken Henke’s “Lilly.” Mom and Dad help her submit her essays and stories for competition, provide an extensive library of her own, including signed copies of books by her favorite authors. Another way to encourage Emily--begin a writing group so she can interact with others who share her interest and receive valuable feedback of her own writing from her peers.

Alyssa’s mother shows great respect for her love of animals. It’s nothing for them to stop and move a desert turtle off the road. When Alyssa’s mother found out about an unadvertised premier of a Steve Irwin movie, she made plans to take her daughter. The results? Steve autographed her shirt, and gave them tickets to see the premier--a memory that will be made even more poignant by his early death. Future encouragement might include making sure Alyssa gets the remote long enough to watch a favorite animal show. A Ranger Rick magazine subscription should make a fun surprise, too.  Alyssa would no doubt do well in taking on some small jobs caring for neighborhood pets.

Douglas’ father takes time to discuss history with him, and during campaign time for “Dad for city council," he included him in every little campaign detail. Douglas has an endless supply of models of army tanks to build. This vividly emphasized the reality of war to him. Another way his parents can feed his love for America is to explore  Time for Kids with him (and to discuss media slant). 

Remember, each child is different. You may have two boys, one interested in technical things and one who lives for sports of any kind. Don’t expect the techie son to shoot hoops or practice throwing curve balls all day like your sports-minded son. Instead, provide him with tools of his trade, brag on him, and use special occasions to build his craft, thus showing how important it is to you.

Now you know the secret of the real Magic Wand--use it and watch your child’s self-esteem guide his future.

                                                              Three ways to work magic:



Zander needs breath mints!

Buy
You don’t have to spend a fortune to show your child you are proud of his skills. A new paint brush with a clear red handle, a colored pen for journal writing, or doggy breath mints. It’s just saying, “I believe in you.”

Brag
Show off your child’s talent whenever you can. Frame a work of art, create a portfolio of your child’s writings, take pictures of your child with his/her pets and display them, make sure your child overhears you bragging on their history grades and his/her interest in elections.

Build
Special occasions are fun times for building your child’s supplies. A special light for drawing? An idea for Santa. A retractable pet leash? Great birthday surprise: A special interest magazine portraying a previous election? Tuck it in an Easter basket.  Book giving is another way to show how important your child’s talent is to you—books on famous men, artists and writers; books on animal care and showmanship, and novels about animals. Build a library of facts and fiction and assign a special place for them. Check out library books on the subject that interests them.

I've linked this post to Fab Friends Friday at For The Love of Blogs.