In Full Disclosure

“Do you find life too difficult for you? So did we, but not now, with the amplitudes of grace there are for us in Jesus Christ, it grows satisfying and successful and exciting beyond measure, becomes another and a richer thing.” ~ A. J. Gossip

In full disclosure (I always wanted to use that phrase), I want to admit to a week of fretting. Me, the Philippians 4:8 Queen! I thought about true and honest things. I thought about just and pure things. I thought about lovely things. I thought of things that would give a good report. I've thought of things praise worthy. And the devil just shot those thoughts back with his own flaming arrows. Arrow thoughts like, "That could have been said in kindness," "This will never be made right," "He seems so broken," and "This relationship never be restored." Every time I sit down, lie down, clean, I hear the devil's whispering in my mind, reminding me of the situation again. For me, worry is a dark place and sucks joy out of my heart and life.

I thought I knew how God could take care of this. My plan included a lot of Holy Spirit promptings, changes of attitude and apologies. Unfortunately I left out the whole "free will" so important to God. He gives us a choice. And we can't make the choice for anyone else.

This fretting isn't mine -- but it does belong to people I love. Since my Philippians 4:8 trick didn't work, I turned to the internet for some solutions. It told me to keep my hands busy. (My mind doesn't seem to care if my hands are busy. I can clean, cook and yes, even write, and my mind still does jumping jacks.) It included Yoga and meditating which brought me full circle to Philippians 4:8. It also suggested kicking worry in the posterior (*words may be changed to protect the etiquette of the writer). 

Then I read quotes like the one by Corrie ten Boom -- 

Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its worries, 

it empties today of its strength.

It's true -- the worry was still there, and I was exhausted from fretting (and trying not to fret) about it. So I decided to research what God wants us to do when we're worrying. The articles threw words around like trust, and peace, and casting cares. Nothing new, nothing I haven't tried. 

And then, just as I sat down to whine here on the blog (couched in form of questions like, "What verse helps you to stop fretting?"), hoping one of you could share your wisdom, I noticed I had a text message from Emily. She wrote, "Looks like a you and me thing," and included a photograph. Printed on a copy of the very Bible chapter that holds the key to my fretting were the words, "He gives us more grace,"  

That's the answer! When my heart is disquieted (that's a dignified word for my heart feeling like a train wreck), I know where I can find more grace -- from my Heavenly Father. God gives us more power of the Holy Spirit, just like the lyrics of the song, "He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again." 

There's one hitch -- God gives grace to those who are humble (Proverbs 3:34). No longer can I say what "I" do to stop my worrying. No, God gets the glory because HE gives me grace. Grace to try Philippians 4:8 one more time. Grace to trust. Grace to give the worrying to God. Grace to grab the leg of peace and wrestle it to the ground. Grace -- abundant grace; an unlimited supply. Before I even finished writing this, I asked the Lord for more grace. I'm not saying the issue won't come to mind again before it's solved, but I'm saying the key is grace. 

It's the grace that saved me. 

It's the grace that's brought me this far.

It's the grace that relieved my fears!

It's amazing, this grace.

God promised grace in time of need, and I'm leaning hard on that grace -- today, tomorrow, and in the future. He can heal families, in His own way and time. This God I serve is amazing! So, in full disclosure, I am not a spiritual giant. I'm not even a wise teacher of Word. I'm just a learner -- needing God to guide me through this life, needing His wisdom, overwhelmed with His grace.

Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood

A Little R and R Wednesdays

Rosilind has an excellent post about Twitter, too.