Sheltering Families with Special Needs

This post is written by my niece and namesake, Pamela Jo.  She's the most amazing momma to Carli, Olivia Grace and Madeline.  Pam homeschools, keeps up with all of Madeline's therapies, and has a medical vocabulary that amazes even the doctors.  Add to that singing in the choir, entertaining friends and finishing her accounting degree with honors.  

Children remind us to treasure the smallest of gifts, even in the most difficult times. ~ Allen Klein

John 1:16 tells us, "From His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace (ESV)." Another translation reads, "From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another (NIV)." 

There are a handful of moments in one's life that forever change the way you see other people. I now know that I was guilty of taking people for granted until one life-altering day in March of 2008, the day we found out that our third baby would be born with serious disabilities. In those first shell-shocked hours, when we didn't even know if she would live, we found ourselves comforted under the sheltering tree of the family of God…indeed overwhelmed by "grace upon grace."

Lisa wrapped her arms around me and prayed right in the parking lot. Vicky added our kids to hers for a couple hours while we saw our doctor for more information and worked through calling our families. Dr. Tuchscherer sheltered us with encouragement ("If any of my patients can do this, you are the ones who can.") and hugs. 

Jed was carrying mail over by the church and stopped by the church office; with tears running down his cheeks, he passed along the news to our pastors and staff. They held hands and prayed immediately, and when we showed up a little later, Pastor Leeder prayed with us. Pastor Stan listened for a long time, and his wife (our Sunday School teacher) came from wedding shopping with her bride-to-be daughter to pray and listen. 

That afternoon, Jed and Alyssa walked in our door with bags of groceries and Jed worked on dishes while Alyssa put together manicotti, all the while listening and crying and laughing with us.

My parents drove through the night to be with the girls while we went for a more in-depth ultrasound at a specialist in Indianapolis. Daddy's hug when he walked in that door was one I'll never forget.

And it hasn't ended. Here are just a few of the ways we've been sheltered since then:

Church families babysitting while we were with Madeline in the NICU and other hospital stays along the way; Auntie and Pastor Kraig and Marcia sitting with us through surgeries, and Mom taking time off from her job to help with the kids and cook for us. 

A surprise landscaping job with the help of more than 20 people (a great witness to the community, too). "That's the pastor mowing the yard?" Read more here: You're Something Special.

 
Christmas gifts for all the girls, bags of clothes passed on from other little girls, bags of groceries and envelopes of money, and a box of headbands with bows from the great auntie, the host of this blog!

"Bless your baby heart," from Mom and Grandma and sweet notes from uncles and aunts and cousins and my three lovely sisters-in-law, and friends who allow me to be "not okay" for a little bit during a tough day. 

Prayers from people I don't know stopping me in public, and little Mason, a lad from our church, who reminds his parents every night to pray for Madeline during bedtime prayers.

We are overwhelmed to know the love of God and His family. You have sheltered us and have been the hands of Christ to us.

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Blessing Turnaround

In friendship's fragrant garden, there are flowers of every hue, Each with its own fair beauty, and it's a gift of joy for you. ~Friendship's Garden This past summer my husband, Shawn, who owns his own business, was asked to hire another worker. A young man, Nathaniel, who was just graduating from Bible College to become a pastor, planned to begin his internship at a local church. Nathaniel would also be marrying this same summer and would be in need of housing. I was able to meet both him and his fiance, Annalisa, when they came to view an apartment Shawn had available for rent. Months past. Then one evening at supper Shawn told me that since Annalisa had been a missionary kid during her teen years she hadn't gotten a driver's license. When she applied after getting married, thinking they would have a permit in hand soon, she discovered the law requires you wait 6 months for your permit. So, that left Annalisa at home all day, alone, until her husband returned from work and took her to do whatever shopping needed to be done. A few weeks later I started to think that maybe I could help Annalisa.  I brought the idea up to Shawn and, of course, that is when he told me that was the main reason for him telling me Nathaniel and Annalisa's situation. Thinking of helping Annalisa felt "right" -- like God had given me a way to bless someone.  Little did I know that blessing Annalisa would take a turn and start blessing me! Since I am eight months pregnant, it makes it nice to have someone help deposit groceries into the trunk if need be. Plus, I am so sick that it is hard for me to get out of the house, so knowing I'm scheduled to pick Annalisa up does help me get my shopping done. Plus, it's keeping our fridge and pantry stocked. The Sewing of Friendship. WOW! Whether we have a garden full of friends or if we have a small cluster or maybe even one dear friend, we all started the process the same way.  In my case, I first planted the seed by calling Annalisa and asking her to join me on my grocery shopping run. Second, I faithfully watered the seed by making our grocery shopping a weekly habit. Thirdly, I watched as the seed sprouted while we grew comfortable with each other (didn't take long) and now our friendship has blossomed into a beautiful relationship. Are you happy with your friendship garden? Is it producing healthy friendships? Or do you feel as if the friendships are drooping and some are even dying? Go forth and plant a seed! I am sure it will encourage someone and, like it has me, will become a huge blessing for you. P.S. This also includes my two younger children getting to be a part of helping someone. They are not bothered by the fact that we have a "tag-along" to the store - they actually get to go out more because of it. And oh, did I mention Annalisa has a dog? Now that makes her really special in their book!!

Sheltering sisters

Bless you, my darling, and remember you are always in the heart--oh tucked so close there is no chance of escape--of your sister.

~Katherine Mansfield

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child. ~Barbara Alpert

I just stood there giggling at the steaming iron. It seems the most ironic memories flood your mind at the least expected times. I looked down at my wrinkled uniform skirt that I was simultaneously wearing and ironing. De`javu attacked me and suddenly I became my sister as I saw a mini me looking up at, well, me. I remembered the day I stared up at my "sissy" and saw her ironing her own skirt she was wearing, warning me, "Emily, don't ever do this." Our very own sister-bonding, "Children don't try this at home" moment.

I finished "ironing" my skirt, unplugged the iron, (you're welcome, Dad!) and ran out the door, coming to the realization that my sister knew what she was talking about. And I probably should have heeded her advice. Ouch.

What are sisters for if not for sheltering? Sometimes you need to reach your leaves out to catch the dust from falling on your very own family members. I had the distinct pleasure to do a little sheltering this summer to one of my most favorite people ever. Technically one and one half of my favorite people ever.
Melanie had an extremely rough summer. I don't know how she was able to stand the bouts of nausea or the pain she was in. She was a trooper. But it just about killed her to clean her house.(Which, if you know her, you know it is kept spotless and beautiful!) So I stepped in to do what little I could to help. A little dusting, a little sweeping, a little warming up of hotdogs! She had kept it up wonderfully before her bedridden state, so my "helping" wasn't some grand act of greatness. It was just something small I could do for someone I loved very dearly to make her feel a little more at ease.

Melanie was a very gracious shelteree. (Is that a word? Oh, well. It is now!) She would do all she could to help me, paying no attention to my pleas for her to Go Rest and Don't overdo it.

Something happened that summer. I found myself being sheltered in becoming closer to my sister. I enjoyed the time I spent with her more than words on a page can describe. Such a beautiful, wonderful woman of God, and I had the honor of spending time, sheltering her...oh! And it makes it a little extra-special knowing that the person you're sheltering is in return sheltering your unborn nephew. Prettyyyy cool indeed!

Love you, Sissy.