In Sickness and In Health

Love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God. As high as God is above man, so high are the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of love. It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I knew she had struggled with headaches throughout her teenage years, even following multiple tests producing no diagnosis. After marrying in 1975, we continued seeking the cause, and finally determined she was hypoglycemic. Medication controlled it until around age 40, at which time she was diagnosed with diabetes. Despite prescriptive care, headaches increased with a vengeance and hypertension came on board; insomnia took over after the untimely death of our 8-month-old daughter, requiring more medical treatment.

Pinpointing the beginning of her battle with fibromyalgia is difficult, but symptoms began in the early 90’s. This debilitating intrusion into muscles and nerve endings advanced quickly, to the extent that she would take the longer route to the grocery store or doctor’s office to avoid turning the steering wheel to navigate multiple turns that were a part of the shorter route.

This sweet, industrious home-maker, wife, mother, grandmother, writer, editor, teacher, secretary, fabric store manager, bookkeeper, decorator, blogger, award-winning author is one of the most persevering, pain-tolerant, non-complaining people I know; if she has a fault, it is seen in her incessant apologizing for things we do to help alleviate her pain. The little ways we step in to assist are expressions of love – ways to help make her day a bit more tolerable.  She’s appreciative, but she still apologizes!

I lament that we cannot relieve the suffering or find a cure for the combination platter of pain she endures (chronic illness and its side effects, diabetes, hypertension, daily migraines)…but…I’m a pro at microwaving her iced tea, an egg, and bacon every morning, and turning the car around to face the highway (to reduce wheel-turning when she has to drive to her bi-weekly deep tissue therapy, where she can find some relief from the muscle spasms and inflammation related to scoliosis and rotator cuff issues).

I don’t consider Pam’s physical condition something that “causes me trouble,” but I do count it a privilege to fulfill my vows – in particular, the tiny phrase, in sickness and in health. I will continue to alternate heat and cold compresses throughout the day and in the middle of the night, clean the ceiling fans J, proofread her blogs, drop her off at the entrances of Wal-Mart and church, warm up and de-ice the car, pause to pray when she texts me with “Please pray for my head,”  massage her shoulders at 2 AM when the spasms won’t let her sleep… I will love her, cherish her, and make her as comfortable as possible. And yes – even though I know the answer – I’ll continue to ask, “Where do you hurt?”

As a PS, please do not accuse me of “hero syndrome.” Never! Pamela (or Pamelove as I call her) has two wonderful daughters, one son-in-law and another soon-to-be, who go out of their way to assist with many things Pam is no longer able to do. Children are a heritage of the Lord (Psalm 127:3) – and they rise up and join me in calling her Blessed! (Psalm 31:28)

BTW, she had  to post this blog (She’s the one who asked me to be responsible for today’s segment; of course I have been obedient!) And so, in sickness and in health, we remain: Each for the other, and both for our Lord…

Lovingly,

rb

Marriage Week:
Six Reasons I Want a Marriage Like My Parents
Preparing for Marriage God's Way by Emily
Romance...With Kids by Melanie
Keeping the In Sickness and In Health Wedding Vows

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