Sheltering Honestly

Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength. ~Ovid 

In the middle of my morning – a morning spent in mothering and house caring – a fan used for circulation in my daughter’s room malfunctioned, causing her room to be engulfed in flames.  It seemed surreal.  Screaming for help, the wail of fire engines, the rush to the hospital only to find out our Sarah was in the arms of Jesus long before the flames had reached her bed, the inability to hold our Sarah to say goodbye. 

The next few hours are hazy in my mind.  I sat nearly motionless in the home of our senior pastor and best friends, Leonard and Janet Sankey, just across the parking lot from our charred, smoke-filled house.  Janet and another friend sat with me.  Church people drifted in and out – bringing food, toys and clothes for Melanie, and countless offers of help.  Later in the afternoon we made funeral arrangements.  The ten hour trip for any of our families to get to us stretched out eternally,  and I can remember thinking my heart could not wait until my Daddy and Mother arrived. 

It was in the middle of the waiting that I walked into the living room at the same time Leonard walked out of his study.  Crying in his arms I asked, “What are we going to do?”  I can still hear his whispered reply, filtered with his own grief, “I honestly do not know.”

Leonard has preached around the world. He could have consoled me in articulate English or fluent Spanish.  He has all the promises of God hidden in his heart; he could have quoted them to me.  He is a wordsmith – he could have crafted a beautiful assurance.  But in his honesty, I was comforted.  Those whispered words made it easier to breathe, easier to allow the “whys” banging in my head to find some measure of validity in my heart.  And because of those whispered words, I could accept the message of Job which Leonard based his funeral message on: “The Lord gives and takes away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.” 

Throughout the following months, I spiraled through the grieving process.  Yes, I asked “Why?”  There were times I was angry at the loss of my sweet nine-month-old Sarah.  Other times I wanted to pull the covers over my head and forget life.  Twenty-four years later, I look back  -- and am now, more than ever, convinced my grief found greater authenticity and effectiveness because of the honesty of my friend.  

Press Release

My mother used to tell me man gives the award, God gives the reward.   ~Denzel Washington

God Helps Me

God Helps Me, a new addition in the Instant Bible Lessons for Preschoolers by Pamela J. Kuhn has won the prestigious Retailer’s Choice Award for 2011 in the Christian Education category. Sponsored by Christian Retailing Magazine (http://www.retailerschoiceawards.com/), these are the only book awards voted on by religious booksellers.

Instant Bible Lessons for Preschoolers, Rainbow Publishers' best-selling series, consists of age specific all-in-one lessons to help Sunday school teachers effectively teach kids about God's love for them. Busy Sunday school teachers comment often on their love of the "Copy & Go" element of the Instant Bible Lesson series. Instant Bible Lessons for Preschoolers is one of four age ranges in the series covering all ages from 2-12.

The Retailers Choice Awards have been repeatedly acknowledged as an important way of recognizing some of the most significant new life-changing products in the Christian retail industry. Products nominated in the competition were judged on the impact they have on staff and customers, including their ability to speak to hearts, open minds to new ways of thinking and encourage and affirm Christlike living.

The author would like to express appreciation to God for this award and extend thanks to all of the retailers who honored this title with their vote.

What Shall We See

And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal. ~Revelation 21:10-11

Pops of green from the outdoor forest. Shades of breathtaking blue and purple painting the sky. Deep, crimson red from a bouquet of roses. Dancing clown with colorful getup. The horse's silky mane whispering through the wind as he gallops through the valley. The balanced acrobat walking the tightrope. The sun reflecting on the shimmering sand. What if we couldn't see all this beauty?

Sight has been on my mind since things have changed in our household. It began when I spotted an obnoxious long blink that my son, Landon, engaged in when trying to focus on something in particular. I thought it might be dry eyes.  To the eye doctor we headed before he started kindergarten. A proper diagnosis confirmed the need -- glasses for Landon.

Of course you want your kids to have a ‘perfect’ body and never have big problems…you are laughing, right? Come on, crazy woman! I came home and spoke my feelings  to my husband – “He’s only five! He has to wear glasses.” (In other words, not perfect.) My husband responded quickly with “It’s life, and just go on.”  Count your blessings, right?

Yes, I realize that now, and have an overwhelming feeling of God’s ‘perfect perfection’  for my family’s physical wellbeing. As I dropped the boys off at school this morning, we were early, so hesitated a moment;  I leaned back from the driver's seat,  and Ethan held my hand as we thanked God for many things – including the vision He has granted us.

To see the beauty around us and be independent while living in our world – how magnificent!

We have spent lots of time talking about Heaven lately. The kids have asked questions -- and  wish I could remember them all..…One child didn’t want to go to Heaven forever and was sobbing while asking if bikes would be in Heaven. Another question popped up this week -- you guessed it: Will we need glasses in Heaven?

Oh, I want to see Him – look upon His face!

There to sing forever of His saving grace.

On those streets of glory, let me hear my voice.

Cares all past, home at last, ever to rejoice.

~William Dunn Longstaff

Although our minute minds struggle with giving others a true picture of Heaven, we can share with them what God has given us in His Word. And why not act enthusiastic and mix it with imagination? …Hmm…Maybe the swing set in Heaven will be such fun you will never want to stop…and maybe won’t have to slow down – because you will never need to catch your breath, cool down, or get rested up…See? Aren’t you excited? See you at the playground!

* * * * *

I used to do this fun clapping poem with friends and now with my own children…I dare you to click on the link, listen to the music, and explore your inner child today! Have fun! http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/playmate.htm

Oh, little playmate, come out and play with me

And bring your dollies three,

Climb up my apple tree,

Look down my rain barrel,

 Slide down my cellar door,

And we’ll be jolly friends forever more!

Linked to:

Spiritual Sundays

{Titus 2}sday

Playdates with God

Hungering in the Book Store

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers. ~Charles W. Eliot

Oh, glorious day!  The sun is shining and streaming in the window creating a rainbow of sorts.  Bookcase after bookcase filled with books of all genres.  A shaken black tea is by my elbow, a stack of books and magazines waiting to be perused.  I just can't help but smile!

Emily came back from California last night -- actually 1 a.m. this morning.  All gorgeous and sun-kissed.  Bubbling and oh-so-happy with her week.  We gave her a little surprise and brought someone to carry her luggage with us -- which only added to the sparkle in her eyes. We spent the night in the city and  RB had a meeting today with a colleague at the Indy Center so I've been basking in this perfect place for several hours.

Do any of you just ache to read all the books available?  I find myself almost frantic because I want to dip into them all, gathering wisdom and knowledge, feeding my soul on the beautifully crafted words. Choosing a stack to devour is hard.  This stack I chose contained a few I wanted to sit and devour, but, at least in one case, I was uh...no, don't want to waste my time on this.

While I love reading biographies, writing market books, business books and even picture books, I find myself pulled to those which teach me more about my God. Because even more than my craving for general knowledge, I hunger and thirst after righteousness.

Sitting at a table in Barnes and Noble I thought of the changes occurring in my life and was challenged as I read Jason Crabb's "Trusting God to Get You Through."

However many seasons are ahead, they are all chapters of the same journey.  Even the changes we least expect are part of God's plan to lead us where He wants us to be.  However uncomfortable life's surprises might be, they are signals of God's promotions.  With each sift, He draws us up higher to a place where He knows we will need to trust Him more.  It is a place of sweet surrender.

Mother Angelica's "Private and Pithy Lessons" was full of practical and down-to-earth truth.

God wants to tell the world, "I am going to do it."  The weaker we are, the more confidence we should have.  God uses the weak things of the world to confound the strong.  Whether you are a child, an old person, or a sick person, you can be a terror to the invisible foe.  

Henri Nouwen in "Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk," said,

The discipline of the book leads us on the road to true inner obedience.  Through the regular practice of regular meditation we develop an inner ear that allows us to recognize God's Word that speaks directly to our most inner needs and aspirations.  

Then I read in Debbie MacComber's "God's Guest List,"

In real life, God's presents don't always come gaily gift-wrapped, and they are not easily recognized.  Some even initially come looking like challenges.  And often these gifts are people shaped.

Dipping into one chapter then another, I am startled by the phone and the call draws me back into "real life."  It's time to leave this perfect place, but I found a few new friends to put on my Kindle wish list, to devour as I try to satisfy my "hungering and thirsting after righteousness."

With David, I pray, "As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God."

A Lost Song

If I keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come.   ~Chinese Proverb

           

Have you ever thought you lost your song? Sometimes the demands and yes, frustrations, of life just make us weary. The song that usually sings in our soul, reminding us of God's presence, sounds off key and sometimes fades away.

We don't always know the root cause of our depression (not to be confused with clinical depression):

1. Social (broken friendship, betrayed confidence)
2. Emotional (death of someone close)
3. Physical (coping with pain)
4. Material (financial setback)
5. Spiritual (perceived lack of spiritual growth)

When I find depression clouding my heart many times I can retrace my thoughts and find the trigger.  Other times the "why" seems reticent -- there doesn't seem to be a "reason."

On a Wing and a Prayer
Beautiful book for sheltering

There are times when discouragement clouds a day, and other occasions when depression presses down so hard it affects serveral days and you feel there must surely be a D etched on your forehead.  I have found in these times to just wait -- to ride out the storm. Sometimes waiting involves being alone, shutting out the world and recharging.  Other times we need to be proactive -- shelter someone, buy a bouquet of flowers, listen to music or read an encouraging blog. 

Most of all, offer the cause of your depression to God, read His word and focus on God's promises. Leave your heart open, keep your hope fresh, and the music will return. 

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee --

How great thou art!

How great thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee --

How great thou art!

How great thou art!

Paul knew discouragement and, in spite of those times, talked about his God, who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed and the sinking, comforted and encouraged and refreshed and cheered us.

Keep the cage of your heart open.  Keep the bough fresh.  Your song will return. Sunshine as bright as a gold finch's golden coat will glow, drawing others to the source of your song.

 

I've Been Sheltered!

I was so surprised when Bizzy from Bizzy Bakes wrote to tell me I was featured on her blog.  She featured Caffeine for the Spirit.  As a thank you to her, I'm giving you another caffeine recipe!  Melanie serves this each year on Ethan's birthday -- for the adults!

Boil 1 1/2 quarts of water
Stir in and dissolve:
1/4 cup of instant coffee
1/2 cup of sugar
1/2 cup of Nesquik

Refrigerate for at least 4 hours

30 minutes before serving remove from fridge and scoop into drink:
1/2 gallon vanilla and 1/2 gallon chocolate ice cream

Stir until most of ice cream is mixed with drink ...add whip topping

Linked to:

Sweet Treats Thursday

Delightfully Inspiring Thursday

It's a Keeper Thursday

Recipe Swap Thursday

Sheltering with Defiant Joy!

There is a joy which is not given to the ungodly, but to those who love Thee for Thine own sake, whose joy Thou Thyself art. And this is the happy life, to rejoice to Thee, of Thee, for Thee; this it is, and there is no other. ~Augustine

God's plan for all of us includes joy.  Have you ever met someone who is joyless -- the person who seems to find something negative in the best of blessings.  The one who says, "I can get a splinter sliding down the curve of a rainbow."

My mother is a joyous woman.  I never thought about it when I was young -- these things escape children because joy is taken for granted.  But as I have matured, I've watched her experience some tough situations.  Life things, physical problems, losing her mother, two grandbabies, a son-in-law, a best friend, and other pains of life.  Yet what I remember is the joy.

I think of my Heavenly Father and His joy.  Then I know why my mother is so joyful.  She knows grace.  God's grace -- the grace that is born out of God's joy.

Nehemiah shared that "the joy of the Lord is our strength."  Is it any surprise that those who live without joy merely seem to spin their wheels, accomplishing nothing, encouraging nobody and denying our joyous God the offer of exchanging their hurts for joy?

In 1871, Charles Spurgeon preached a sermon titled, The Joy of the Lord, The Strength of His People. Spurgeon said, "He is a God who cannot lie, faithful and true to his promise; he is all love, and at the same time infinitely just, supremely holy. Why, the contemplation of God to one who knows that this God is his God for ever and ever, is enough to make the eyes overflow with tears, because of the deep, mysterious, unutterable bliss which fills the heart."

Over 100 years later my own eyes overflow because of the same unutterable bliss that fills my soul when I contemplate my God who cannot lie, faithful and true to his promise; he is all love, and at the same time infinitely just, supremely holy.

But what happens when we're living life?  When the stock market fails or illness strikes?  "Joy in this world," says John Ortburg, "is almost always a joy in spite of something.  It's a defiant joy."  George Matheson expressed it well:

O Joy that seekest me through pain,

I cannot close my heart to thee;

I trace the rainbow through the rain,

And feel the promise is not vain,

That morn shall tearless be.

Habakkuk knew about that defiant joy.  He said,

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places.

I want that defiant joy.  

Though the van was totaled and the work car blew a tire, though my body is tired and pain dodges my steps, our soldiers are killed protecting our country and the Dow keeps losing points, yet will I rejoice in the Lord.  I will take joy in the God of my salvation.  GOD, the Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places.

Joy, defiant joy. The joy I see encased in a bubble shining with the colors of the rainbow. The joy my mother demonstrated.  The joy flowing from my Heavenly Father.  

Linked to:

Spiritual Sunday
Playdates with God
Soli Deo Gloria
Encouraging Words Tuesday