God is closest to those with broken hearts. – Jewish Saying
It’s been a year. 365 days. 52 weeks. 12 months. 365 days of grieving my mother’s death. 52 weeks of missing my writing sounding board. 12 months of monthly trips to Pennsylvania. You see, I have felt lost without a mother, but my daddy is the real hero here. He’s had 365 days of living alone. 52 weeks of missing his sweetheart. 12 months of try to adjust to his “new normal” life.
For the first time in 60 years he:
- Celebrated Thanksgiving alone
- Attended baby granddaughter Emily’s wedding alone
- Celebrated Christmas alone
- Stayed in “their” special Southern Ohio inn
- Didn’t buy a valentine
- Had cataract surgery
- Turned 80
- Attended church conference, youth camp and family camp alone
- Drove out (400 miles) – alone -- to see me
- Had a son get a sarcoidosis diagnosis
- Watched that son go through life-threatening complications from meds
- Had carotid artery surgery
- Selected birthday cards for us kids
- Washed clothes (and yes, things turned pink)
- Ironed shirts
- Fixed his own Sunday morning breakfast
- Drove 25 miles to church every Sunday
- Matched his own daily wardrobe
- Missed telling his bride, “Pick out a flower bouquet for the dining room table.”
- Interpreted doctor’s orders alone
- Kept the house spotless
Unlike what many think, grief does not magically end at the end of a year. Often the finality of death is just beginning to sink in, while the loneliness intensifies. I believe Jesus continues to look for people to be His hands and feet for the grieving. People to visit, text, and call. People to brighten a day with a card or a sweet treat. People to sit down, cease their chattering, and just listen.
The bottom line: From last November to this November, I’ve learned just how lonely “lonely” can be – and how big a hero my daddy is.
10 comments:
I am so very sorry for your loss. Having lost my husband in 2012 I know exactly how huge, cold and empty lonely is. I am glad you have the LORD too, for without Him we'd not do as well as we have. Please know you'll be in my prayers, as will your dad. I haven't been by in a long time, due to deaths in the family and my own health issues, but will be coming by again. Take care, God bless.
Beautiful post honoring your dad and his courage to keep moving forward as best he can. Sending prayers your way.....it is everything to be able to grieve in hope, knowing you all will se your mom again.
Your daddy is a hero to soldier on alone for one whole year.
Oh Pam, you express all the things you and your family have experienced since your mother's passing in such a special way. Yes you brought tears to my heart as I read your thoughts, but am giving thanks for the wonderful woman that was your mother and the footprints she left behind. She is smiling down on you right now and thanking you for your strong support of your Daddy and the wonderful acknowledgement of his courage and faith during this grief filled year. Thank God for his life and testimony of God's sheltering defense always...in the valleys and on the mountain tops throughout our lives. Thank you Sister Pam.....you are such a blessing to me and our family. I love you!
It's when we can stop feeling sorry for ourselves and see beyond that...and you've done that beautifully. Not that it's wrong to grieve! It's perfectly fine and normal and should be done. It's when we reach out with His love and compassion, beyond ourselves, that we begin to see through His eyes of grace. In a way, it heals us some. Not all of the way, but some. Thank you for sharing your Daddy. Would you be able to email his address? I'd love to send a Thanksgiving card to him! :)
In His Love,
Shannon
Pam, words fail at times like this! It's plain to see that your mother left a huge hole in your lives that can never be filled. Though no one can take the pain away, I hope it brings a small measure of comfort to know that people care!
Pam, it is so hard to lose a parent. It's been not quite two years since I lost my dad, and it just seems like the hole gets bigger. But then, God gets bigger to fill it. Your father is a hero, and a great testimony to the faithfulness of God in holding up His beloved children, no matter how old they are.
GOD BLESS!
such a precious post, love you.
God bless and comfort you,
d
Yes, your daddy is a real hero.
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